2/14/16
After his baptism, Jesus, full of the Holy Spirit, returned from the Jordan and was led by the Spirit in the wilderness, where for forty days he waThen the devil took him to Jerusalem, and placed him on the pinnacle of the temple, saying to him, "If you are the Son of God, throw yourself down from here, for it is written, 'He will command his angels concerning you, to protect you,' and 'On their hands they will bear you up,so that you will not dash your foot against a stone.'"
Jesus answered him, "It is said, 'Do not put the Lord your God to the test.'" When the devil had finished every test, he departed from him until an opportune time. (Luke 4)
Click the image to listen to an audio recording.
Do you know the movie “Tender Mercies“? It’s from the early 80s and stars Robert Duvall as Mac. Mac is a washed up, alcoholic country singer – who, at the start of the film, wakes up one morning after a night of heavy drinking – realizing he can’t pay for his motel room. Fortunately for him – the woman who owns the motel – a single mom, Tess, whose husband died in the Vietnam War – mercifully, cuts him a break. She agrees to let him stay on as the handyman at the hotel in exchange for room and board.
It’s a great movie – a redemption story – of a person who through many tender acts of mercy – some seemingly random – some deliberately shared out of love – turns his life around – finds new life actually – when he thought all was lost. It’s a story about where and how we find our sense of worth.
Part of Mac’s transformation is shaped through attending church – with Tess and her son. And one of my favorite scenes is after Mac’s and Tess’s son are baptized. After the baptism at church the three of them are driving home in their truck – and the boy – about 10 years old – asks Mac – “Do you feel anything yet?” – and Sonny calmly replies – “Not yet.”
That’s a pretty different description from what we hear of Jesus this morning after his baptism. Jesus – full of the Holy Spirit – follows that same Spirit as it leads him out – alone – into the wilderness. Full of the Holy Spirit Jesus doesn’t go straight to healing and teaching – or preaching and fixing – instead – that sense of wholeness – moves him to be alone – with God – unsheltered and unafraid – to confront his demons.
In the movie – Sonny has a lot of demons. But really – his demons – like the Tempter in the gospel – can all be boiled down to one thing – shame. Sonny is ashamed of who is – ashamed of what he’s done in his past – ashamed of the people he’s hurt – ashamed of the fact that he – “no good” guy that he’s been – is allowed to live – while others – seemingly more innocent – do not.
It’s not the baptism that heals Sonny – the baptism, like ours, is just a mark, a reminder. The healing comes through wrestling with his shame – and the questions shame bombards all of us with – to varying degrees – at different times in our lives – #1) You’re not good enough. You’re not smart enough – pretty enough – worthy enough – fill in the blank – you are simply not enough as you are. And #2) Who do you think you are?
That’s exactly how the Tempter is trying to tempt Jesus. The temptations – or tests – none of them are really bad in and of themselves – making food where there is none. Taking command over the kingdom that is already his. Flying like a superhero. The temptations wouldn’t hurt anybody.
But the devil is trying to undermine Jesus’ confidence in who he is – and whose he is. He’s trying to tempt him into believing that being a child of God is not enough. He’s trying to shame Jesus into abandoning his identity – and move him towards proving himself out of fear.
Over this past year I’ve been training – and just this past week – got my official certification – in what’s called The Daring WayTM. This is a methodology developed by Brené Brown who is a researcher, social scientist and best-selling author of Daring Greatly and Rising Strong. She self-identifies as a shame researcher. This work which is being used with such diverse groups as Costco – to the Navy Seals – is about helping people examine their own stories to see where shame and fear keep us from living courageous and vulnerable lives – personally and professionally.
Shame, while none of us like it or want to admit to it, is something all of us experience – it’s what social workers call a primordial or primal affect. The only way you can’t feel it - is if you do not have the capacity to connect emotionally with other people – which is the definition of a sociopath.
Shame is different than guilt. Guilt is about behaviors – as in – I feel really guilty that I talked to someone the way I did – or that I acted a certain way in a given situation. Guilt doesn’t feel great – but when we identify a behavior we don’t like – a behavior that doesn’t align with our values – well behaviors we can change.
But we can’t change who we are – what we think of our self as a person. And that is why shame is so debilitating and so very different from guilt. That’s why shame thrives on secrecy, silence and judgment. It’s that voice in our head that resonates with the tempter this morning – you aren’t good enough – and just who do you think you are. Trying to get Jesus to give up his humanity and prove his value – or admit he isn’t worthy of calling himself “son” – and he does this when Jesus is alone, in secret – because that’s another characteristic of shame – it desires to intensify feelings of isolation.
But Jesus, full of the Holy Spirit, knows he is not alone. He quotes Deuteronomy – placing himself within the story of God which began before this moment – and of which knows he is apart. And, he never lets go of his identity in God, he claims it. Personally, I am sure that identity was strengthened because – full of the Holy Spirit – Jesus spent time in God’s hands. He gave himself, first, to the work of strengthening that connection – before he got into the work of sharing that connection with all those who needed it.
There’s a pretty simple test to see how each of us rate on a shame-scale. How much those tempting– you are not enough – and who do you think you are – voices influence us on a daily basis. The next time you make a mistake – something big – like losing a client, or lying, or forgetting something important – or something small – like misplacing your keys – or showing up late for an appointment – notice your self-talk. Listen to what you’re saying inside, to yourself.
Is it along the lines of – gosh, I’m an idiot – how could I be so stupid – how could I not know better. Or, is it – kinder. More like, huh, well that wasn’t my finest moment – but I’ll learn – we all make mistakes.
In other words – when you fall to temptations or just everyday slip-ups – do you talk to yourself the way you would talk to someone you love? Do you show yourself compassion – patience – kindness aware that you are – after all – just human?
Where we are on that shame scale, research proves – bears a direct correlation with levels of addiction, depression, violence, aggression, eating disorders – the higher on the scale the more of those demons there are. Whereas people on the low end of the scale - who live, not shame-free, but aware of the insidious ways shame can try and tempt us away from trusting in our inherent value and worth – aren’t afraid to confront and shed light on the Tempter of shame, which robs it of its power.
Hence, they exude a sense of love and belonging, because they truly believe they are worthy of love and belonging. Because as Jesus shows us – that deep trust in our inherent value because we too are of God, is just no match for the shame the devil tries to throw in our way.
In another church scene, Sonny sings a hymn “Jesus, Savior, Pilot me” We long, I think, for the strength and ability to live lives with that sense of always being in God’s hands. Sometimes we feel it – sometimes not yet. But this morning Jesus reminds us our identity is of God – we don’t have to prove it – it just is. For we too in baptism have been marked as Christ’s own forever. And as Paul writes – when we live trusting that word is always very near to us, on our lips and in our hearts – then we have nothing to fear – for no one can put us to shame.
The Rev. Arianne R. Weeks
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